I continue to be demanding as we count down the 10 things that need to be in Breaking Dawn
If you remember yesterday, we broke down the first 5 things that need to be in Breaking Dawn. If this incited you to go and look for fan-made Breaking Dawn trailers (I did). I’m sorry. My mind will be forever scarred from the images I saw. If the movies are anything like that . . . *shudder* . . . there is no hope for any of us.
As I recall, Part 1 ended with a FADE TO BLACK (Always at the wrong moment. Eh, Stephenie Meyer?) We had left Jacob Black staring into the beyond, or in this case, the eyes of his newborn (And future wife, I assume) imprinty:
6. Renesmee: Alrighty, Summit. This is where you need to shell out the big bucks. Let’s not forget what happened the first time you tried CGI (If you really could call it that). You ended up with a sweaty looking vampire that didn’t really sparkle as much as he just looked weird.
I’m thinking you go with a half real/half CGI baby Renesmee, because she doesn’t have to talk, as we all know. Of course, we don’t see her until Bella does (Understand?). Being a halfer herself (Vampire/Human), it’s okay if she looks a little funny . . . Not!. I was just saying that to make you feel better. She better look ‘effin real! Go get Peter Jackson to help (That would be awesome!). He’s good at that.
The only thing you would have to worry about, is keeping Chris Hansen away from Jacob.
7. Vampire Bella/Hunting with Edward: These are the scenes that I’m looking forward to the most, so you better not screw it up (Hey! Melissa Rosenberg)!
Let’s start off with vampire Bella. It’s going to be a stretch, but you have to make KStew beautiful (Has she ditched the mullet yet?), meaning ditch the hair & makeup people and get some professionals!
I need to see her jump out of Edward’s window in a cocktail dress that Alice picked out for her. I need to see her in pain while she is turning (THIS is where Bella‘s inner-monologue comes into play). I need to see Bella stop being so mopey and be happy. She is a vampire, for goodness sakes! Why is she so mopey when she has Edward? Jeez!
And vampire Bella has needs, as in, there better be some vampire on vampire action (Do you know what I mean?).
Now, to hunting with Edward (*Sigh*). It better not be in slow motion. Some of it can, but not all. It especially (Are you listening, Summit?), better not look like that 20 second run through the woods in New Moon. That was . . . I can’t even say it. It was hysterical! And it wasn’t suppose to be! Oh, my. Makes me laugh, just thinking about it (I still love you Chris Weitz!).
They’re vampires. They need to be fast. And, Bella needs to be faster than Edward (Got it?). I want to see Edward showing Bella how to hunt. I want to see him take down that mountain lion! This means blood. Don’t be worried about scaring those young kids, they shouldn’t even be watching this movie.
Just copy it right out of the book, okay? It’s there for a reason.
8. It’s the little things that count: This is where you usually screw things up. I can’t even list all things you missed in each movie.
First, the cottage. Yes, it has to be a cottage. It can not contain more than 3 rooms and must look like something out of a fairy tale. No exceptions. Next, Emmett. We need to see how he got turned into a vampire and all that house breaking we heard about (You probably wont include this, but I had to try). And if it isn’t too much trouble (Of course, it isn’t) please, please, please include Emmett and Bella arm wrestling. That seems like something you might overlook. Lord knows, it wouldn’t be the first time.
I’m going to say this again: Just copy it right out of the book. It’s there for a reason. You could copy the book word for word and I wouldn’t mind (PLEASE! PLEASE!).
9. The battle?: I’m not going to be too picky with this. The only thing I remember is a bunch of vampires. Oh, BTW, are we ever going to learn about the Alaskan vampires? Do they even exist in this little world that Melissa Rosenberg thought up that’s incredibly similar to Twilight? My guess is, maybe.
However, we must find out about Bella‘s power and we must see her try to control it. I actually want to see that bubble she creates in the battle. Other than that, just don’t hurt anybody that should be hurt (Edward). The battle isn’t really a battle at all, so just don’t make it one, okay?
Just copy it right out of the book (I feel as if Summit is a 7-year-old child that refuses to do what you say, unless you repeat yourself a million times (leg hitch)).
10. Edward + Bella + Family = Happiness: The last thing I want to see before this whole journey is over, is Bella showing Edward what she is thinking. This means flashbacks (preferably ones that require you to film again, instead of recycling). This is the “Ah ha” moment. This is the “we are meant to be” moment. This is the end (I might cry when that actually happens. What am I going to write about then?).
So, that concludes the 10 ten things that need to be in Breaking Dawn. I really don’t know what more I could do for you Summit. Do you need a personal assistant for Rob? In that case, I’m on my way!
See you tomorrow! – Kim
Did I miss something? What do YOU want to see in Breaking Dawn: The Movie? Tell me in the comments!
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7 Comments Add yours
laughed so hard I cried. My friends and I have come up with a solution to the whole KStew problem; replace her with a new actress. So what if everyone is like oh no! she looks different. Shes a vampire! Shes MEANT to!
Hahaha! Yes! I’ve been thinking that since 2008!
great minds think alike. What i can’t understand is WHY the writing is so bad. The books are good and Melissa Rosenberg has better stuff in her-she does alot of the Dexter episodes after all. Bizarre.
They keep saying there’s a new ending for the film … I hope it’s good!
I keep hearing that too. Not to mention, in the trailer, they all start running toward one another during the battle. Although this is making me want to freak out a little, should we really be surprised? They never had a problem changing things before. By this point, I’m just going to go with it. I’ve long ago come to the conclusion the movies will never be as good as the books. Just as long as they don’t kill Edward, I’ll be good. 🙂