Will you be having blood with your dessert?

Oh, Vampire Diaries. You never fail to surprise me. Not only did last nights all new episode fill its required quota of WTF? moments, it actually exceeded it. So tell me, how did you do it? How did you manage to fill such a short time with so many moments of utter surprise and shock? Yeah, I don’t know either. What I do know, is that this episode has to be one of my all time favorites. Seriously, it is. We all have to agree, after last weeks ‘just okay’ episode, it felt good – like Damon in your bed good – to see you return in all your vamptastic glory. Just the last couple of minutes with Damon and the shower was enough . . . Oh, sorry. I think I’ve said too much. Why don’t we recap and review this fantastic episode. For those of you who have received your invitations, onwards and downwards. The rest of you need to wait in the parlor, this is a SPOILER ALERT!

We arrive back at the lake house the morning after Brady’s unsuccessful assassination attempt. Elena sits reading the newly found addition to the Johnathan Gilbert journals.

Flashback: Mystic Falls. The town vampires have all been destroyed in the church fire . . . or so he thought. After hearing a noise in the distance, Johnathan Gilbert exits his mansion to see what happened to his curious dinner guest. Trying to prove to his guest that no vampire had set foot near the Gilbert Mansion, Johnathan pulls out his compass (See season 1). There is silence, until the needle starts to spin frantically. A vampire is near, and Johnathan’s guest is gone. One more victim later, Johnathan Gilbert is approached and bitten by the mysterious shadow of the night. Only, he knows who it is. It’s Stefan Salvatore (Gasp!).

Stefan is flawlessly skipping rocks on the lake when he gets a call from Damon. Sending his new play thing (Andie Star) off to start her day, Damon fills his brother in on a few important details. Tyler Lockwood has run away (Awww) – thankfully ending their werewolf chapter – which means it’s time to kill Elijah.

Speaking of The Original, he is busy taking some much-needed time to explore Mystic Falls with Aunt Jenna. He’s doing some more research for his book (Yeah, sure. Whatever you say, Elijah). Surprise! It’s Alaric, Jenna’s “friend.” Friend? Really? Elijah tells Alaric there is no need to be jealous; Aunt Jenna is perfectly safe and he really doesn’t like younger women (What a comic).

At The Grill, Jeremy cozy’s up to a distracted Bonnie. While she keeps thinking about last nights difficult spell, Jeremy keeps thinking about that kiss (Look how hurt he is, Bonnie. Shame on you. You knew what he was talking about ). Jeremy suggests that Bonnie come over and practice her witch craft, when a distressed Luca pays the couple a visit. The man-witch wants to know what happened last night. He can’t remember anything. Bonnie plays it cool, but Luca keeps persisting. Jeremy has to step in. Take that man-witch!

Elena asks Stefan if he is still mad at her (You bet he is!). He is. The human thinks it was a difference of opinion, – wanting to sacrifice herself – Stefan thinks differently. Yeah, their not going to talk about this without getting into a fight. Stefan changes the subject. He wants to know what Johnathan Gilbert had to say. Well, Stefan. 1. You tried to kill him. Stefan explains that he wanted revenge on the founding families, because of what they did to Katherine. He had no idea Johnathan Gilbert survived his attack. After all this time omitting facts, Stefan decides he wants Elena to hear what happened, but he wants her to hear it from him.

Flashback: Mystic Falls. Newborn vamp Stefan is treating himself to a little blood orgy from a few female companions. Damon finds his brother in this compromising position and warns him about the town hunting party that is coming after them. Stefan wants his uptight brother to relax. Most of the founding families were dead, or soon would be. There was no need to worry. Fearing for their lives, Damon compels the still breathing women to flee the home and never think of it again. Upset with his brothers lack of survival skills, Damon vows to leave town. Stefan tries to reassure his brother that he’ll be a good vamp, but Damon knows Stefan will get them both killed. “I’d rather leave you to do that to yourself.”

Elena says what we were all thinking, “It sounds like you were Damon.” Stefan believes (Vampires are so over-dramatic) he was worse.

BFF’s Alaric and Damon are having a chat at The Grill when, who should appear? Why, it’s Jenna and Elijah (Damon believes that Alaric is jealous, and Jenna believes Elijah is charming). Third party observer and Damon’s lunch time snack, Andie Star suggests that the group have a dinner party. I don’t know if that’s the best . . . Damon agrees to host (Uh. Oh). Okay, why not? This isn’t a horrible idea.

Ew. Who is that rapidly decaying dead person? Oh, it’s Katherine. Someone is offering the starving vampire some blood. Willingly, she drinks it. What a nice person to do such a thing (Yeah, right). I’m sure you wouldn’t mind showing us your face. Damon? What are you thinking? Quickly looking like her old self once more, Katherine tells the good-looking vampire that if he plans on killing Elijah, then she is stuck in there forever. She really doesn’t want that. She also thinks that Damon has no idea how to kill Elijah, and if he attempts anything, he’ll die. Oh, but that’s where she’s wrong. Damon tells her about the blade and ash trick Uncle John told him. Katherine looks nervous. She warns Damon not to kill Elijah. She’ll do anything for him, (Kill Klaus. Save Elena. Stay in Mystic Falls) if he lets her out of the tomb. Yeah, no deal. Damon’s attempt at conversation was only to confirm that killing an Original was a possibility. He got what he wanted.

Back at the lake house, Stefan continues his story. In the beginning, his desire and thirst for blood was being supplied by the continuing war. Drinking upon the dying, one night the messy haired boy eyed a woman. He followed her into the woods; a midnight snack. As Stefan stalked his prey, the woman attacked him. She was a vampire and a familiar face. It was Stefan’s former best friend, Lexi (See season 1). This was how they met. Bringing his new friend home, Lexi tells the newborn that he has to change his ways. She taught him how to fight for survival . . . and love.

Now, it’s time for the dinner party (Yay!). Aunt Jenna and Andie Star are setting the table, when the newswoman asks if there is trouble brewing in paradise. Aunt Jenna really likes Alaric (Who doesn’t?), but she feels as if he is hiding something from her (Duh. Only, you figured this out after Uncle John said something. You can’t take all the credit). While the ladies are making dinner, Alaric tells Damon that this whole thing was a bad idea *Best line of the night: “There’s no such thing as a bad idea, just poorly executed awesome ones.” Damon vows that tonight is only a fact-finding mission, while Alaric threatens his best bud that there better be no secret attacks or plans. Like that’s going to happen. Oops. Spoke too soon. Damon takes out the special blade, covers it in ash, then puts it in-place for the surprise attack (This can’t be good). Of course, having a surprise guest just makes things even worse. Hey, it’s Uncle John. Who invited you? No one did. You invited yourself.

Enter Elijah, who has some choice words for our Damon. The Original vamp warns Damon that if he tries anything funny (Like killing him), he will not hesitate to kill Damon in return . . . and everyone else in the house. Wine flows, and facts drift from Elijah’s mouth to Damon’s ears. Fact #1: The original founders of Mystic Falls were settlers that escaped the Salem Witch Trials. Fact#2: There was a witch round-up and the witches were hanged together and burned Fact#3: Elijah wants to find the location of the witch massacre. Anyone else see where this is going?

Meanwhile, Elena tells Stefan some key facts from the Johnathan Gilbert journals. Like what? Oh, like there’s a special blade and some tree ash that will kill an Original (Stefan knows this. Elena doesn’t). And that if someone other than a human tries to kill the Original with the blade, they will die too (Say, what?). I think that might make Damon’s plan somewhat of a problem.

Easily, Damon and Elijah are left alone to partake in another drink. Damon figures out (As did we all) that in order to complete the sacrifice, Elijah needs to find the witch burial ground. Why? He wouldn’t say. Elijah just praised the exquisite library, while Damon prepared the blade (Not good). Luckily, Alaric came just in time to be on the receiving end of Damon’s “Oh, come on! What now?” face and Elijah’s safe departure back into the dinning room. In an attempt to evade prying vampire ears, Alaric scribbled down the words: “The dagger will kill you if you use it.” Yet, Damon didn’t seemed too concerned.

Gathering around the table once more, Andie Star attempts to retrieve her notebook (She want’s to ask Elijah more questions about his “work”), while Damon, Uncle John, and Elijah talk about other subjects. Damon points out that Elena hates Uncle John so there is no need to protect him. Then Uncle John asks Elijah how he intends to kill Klaus. Elijah threatens them both. Blah. Blah. Blah. HOLY CRAP! What just happened? There’s screaming and Elijah. Elijah and screaming. Alaric just killed Elijah (It was really a ‘jump out of your seat’ moment, wasn’t it?)! I. Did. Not. See. That. Coming. Go Alaric! Well, this is one interesting dinner party.

Later, Elena confronts Stefan about his tendency to lie. She doesn’t want him to go behind her back. It’s her life. Yes, it’s her life and Stefan doesn’t want to see her throw everything she has away. The reason he told her his back story was because it was a time when he thought he had given up, he can’t let Elena do the same thing.

After dessert, Alaric and Damon bring dead Elijah to the holding cell in the basement, and Elena tells Stefan something important. “As long as the dagger stays in . . .” Wait. What? You couldn’t have told us this before?! Oh, hell. Cut to Elijah making a surprise appearance at Doctor Martin’s. It’s just mistake, after mistake today. Isn’t it? Does this dude ever stay dead?

Yay! It’s date night for our favorite new couple, Jeremy and Bonnie. Actually, Jeremy is the only one who thinks it’s a date or a ‘I kissed you, I thought you liked it, hang thing’ (Look at all those candles). Bonnie thought that it was magic practice (Stupid girl). She’s a bit hesitant to stay, since Elena doesn’t know about her intentions regarding Jeremy. Bonnie wants Elena’s approval. Willing to wait for that day to arrive, Jeremy suggests a ‘eat food and practice magic hang thing.’ After some cool witch tricks (She has a thing for fire), Bonnie tries to channel Jeremy. Only, there’s a soft knock at the door. Just kidding. Man-witch Doctor Martin throws the door open and proceeds to trap Jeremy against the wall (Supernatural style). He demands to know what Luca told Bonnie. She tells the angry man-witch that she knows about his daughter and wants to help him get her back. He didn’t like that. Doctor Martin takes away Bonnie’s powers (No!).

When we catch up with Elijah, he’s already at the lake house. He bends down, grabs some rocks, and shifts them in his hands. Stefan can hear him. With one easy move, Elijah throws the rocks at the door and guts it open. Elena tells Stefan she has to talk to the evil vamp alone (This is where you say “No,” Stefan). He agrees (What?). Elijah can’t enter the house. You know at this point, no good can come from this. Elena starts to apologize somewhat for the failed plan, as Elijah tells her the deal is off. She want’s to renegotiate, but Elijah doesn’t want anything she can offer. So, what does the stupid human do? She pulls out a knife. Elena threatens to kill herself. Elijah just tells her that he knows (So does she) that Stefan won’t let her die. Elena then takes things further. She’ll just do what Katherine did. She will kill herself while Stefan’s blood is still in her system and become a vampire. Elijah knows that little Miss human wont go through with her plan. He calls her bluff and Elena forcefully stabs herself in the gut (What?!). Bleeding to death all over the floor, Stefan Salvatore just stands there listening to Elijah agree to their previous deal (Do something, Stefan!). He gives Elena his word to protect her friends and she stabs him with the special dagger (Holy crap! Did that really just happen?). Immediately, Stefan feeds the bleeding human his blood. A now present Damon speaks, “A little tip, don’t pull the dagger out.” Wow. That was a horrible, yet successful plan (Put together in an extremely short amount of time). How in the world did they (I’m assuming Damon and Elena) convince Stefan to let his lady-love do that? I’m sorry, but there is no way in hell he should have agreed to that.

At the Gilbert home, Aunt Jenna confronts Alaric about his presumed dead wife, Isobel. He won’t give her answers to her questions (I understand, Alaric. Only, she’s going to find out sooner, rather than, later. It’s better she hear it from you, than Uncle John). Jenna leaves crying, disappointed, and without answers. So, enter Uncle John (Ugh!). He tells Alaric that he can tell Aunt Jenna about Isobel for him, if he prefers. He doesn’t, so Alaric takes off his ring and gives it to the blackmailer. “You want it? Take it. It’s yours. After what you did to Damon (Cue adorable crooked smile), you’re gonna to need it more than me.”

Once again, Elijah finds his place in the Salvatore basement. Only, this time, the dagger is kept in place. Searching the dead mans pockets, Damon retrieves the moonstone. Before leaving the two Salvatore brothers to themselves, Elena tells them that she’ll keep fighting if they want her to, but there are going to do things her way. They agree. Seeing the change in Elena’s attitude, Damon questions its source. Stefan tells him. Lexi.

Flashback: Newborn Damon Salvatore is about to leave his home and brother, when Lexi confronts him. She knows that his anger and guilt will get the best of him if he leaves. Ignoring her, he asks Lexi to help Stefan.

In the final scene of the night, Damon opens his bedroom door to hear the water running in the shower. “Andie?” No, it’s not her. Damon’s face drops. It’s . . . Elena (I thought that for a brief moment)? No. It’s Katherine. It seems that both vampires are good at playing games. Knowing that Damon would do the exact opposite of what she asked, she expertly found a way out of her prison. She knew if you killed the Original that compelled you, eventually the compulsion will wear off. Vampire bitch Katherine tells still shocked Damon that she is going to help. Can we believe her?

The Vampire Diaries

What did you think of last nights episode? Was it your favorite of the season? Will Alaric and Jenna break up? Will he tell her his secrets? Will Elijah come back from the dead, again? What is Katherine up-to and what does Uncle John have to do with it? Is Delena ever going to happen? Tell me in the comments!

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