This Means War

Wow. Um . . . holy crap! What? Wow. I’m still a little speechless, as you can tell. As I’ve said previously, what the hell just happened? I don’t really know. One thing I do know? The night belonged to the über talented and quite sexy, Joseph Morgan. He’s delightful, isn’t he? Give that man an Emmy, asap!

Yes. It was a night of twists and turns; surprises that knocked us right off our seats. Gah! It was fantastic. It was truly one of the best episodes of the season, maybe, even the series. It did require us to make use of our throwing chairs, pillows, etc, but we’ll get to that later. After last week’s cliffhanger, we knew little of what was to become of the residents of Mystic Falls. We transitioned into uncharted territory, finding ourselves face to face with a new enemy (somewhat). This week, we picked up right where we left off, only hours after Crazy Alaric’s transition into a vampire – a vampire-hating vampire. There was action left and right. Character death. Epic revelations. It was a damn good episode. How about we recap it, shall we? Take your time, you’re in for a fun ride. For the two of you who didn’t see last night’s all new episode, sit tight. This is a SPOILER ALERT!

An Ode to Alaric Saltzman: Hunter. Hunt. Take. Give. Care. Teach us your history on the days we actually come to class. Die. Live. Die. Drink until you blackout. Come back to life, again. Crazy. Psycho. Killer. Turn into another. Vampire. Original. Kill. Complete your mission. We wish you the best of luck. In fanfiction, you and Damon like to fu . . . Okay. That’s enough for now. What? I was going to say – Stop. Just, stop.

It’s true the initial moments of the episode play-out as a quasi-salute to the Alaric from days of old, but if we look closer we see something more; a declaration. A promise of war. Evil Alaric – that’s what I’m calling him now – will leave chaos and destruction in his wake. He will rid Mystic Falls of each and every supernatural creature – cleansing the world of vampires.

Yeah. He’s insane, but don’t hold that against him. Forced to die, again and again, that’s bound to change a man; especially, when you have a schizophrenic witch whispering in your ear. We should give him a break. Right, Caroline? Um . . . Caroline?

In the deserted halls of Mystic High, our blonde heroine finds Rebecca in a compromising position: fighting her former teacher and friend. The two manage to fight him off, securing the new and improved indestructible wooden stake into Evil Alaric’s abdomen. Shame it didn’t work. Rebecca flees, but Caroline’s fate is sealed. A snapped neck allows Evil Alaric to drag her back to his secret hideout: his former – since I don’t think he’ll be working there anymore – classroom.

Across town, at the Gilbert Home, Stefan walks in on a peculiar sight. Elena and Jeremy are taking Alaric’s turn to heart, deciding to do some last-minute housework – painting Alaric’s/Jenna’s room. Maybe they should be more concerned with, I don’t know, paying bills? Whatever. The point is, it’s freaking Stefan out. Jeremy doesn’t want to deal with any more vampires (I thought that was the whole point of the compulsion thing). And Damon has a problem, a Bonnie problem. While Evil Alaric’s bite wasn’t enough to kill her, she still has a nasty flesh wound. Thankfully, Damon was there to give her his blood. Still clad in her 1920’s garb, the witch tells the Salvatore brothers her . . . boo-boo . . . the night before. The good news is, there is always a way to undue a spell. The bad news, she has no idea how.

The news of Alaric’s transformation is spreading fast. Klaus – almost packed up and ready to leave Mystic – is not surprised, in the least, to hear of his mother’s late-night actions. The hybrid is more concerned with getting out-of-town with Elena at his side. He needs the human blood bag, after all, to make more of his freaky pseudo step-siblings. Rebecca hastily agrees with him, minus the Elena part. She doesn’t have time to wait for Klaus to obtain the silly little girl, they need to leave now. Barbie Klaus gives her brother an ultimatum. It’s either her or Elena. Once again, Rebecca is all on her own.

RING! RING!
Elena Gilbert’s phone.
It’s Evil Alaric, bitch!

In a classic psycho-stalker move, Evil Alaric calls his intended target – Elena – to negotiate some terms. 1. Tell no one. 2. Come alone. 3. Do it or I’ll kill Caroline.

Been there, done that.

Knock. Knock.
Oh. What, now?!
It’s just me. Klaus. Can I come in?
I don’t think that’s the best idea. Maybe some other time.

Klaus and his adorable self are in need of a doppelgänger. His first stop? The Gilbert Home. Yes. The Gilbert Home, where Human Elena can outwit a house full of vampires and escape without so much as a second glance. Yep. She just went all Bella on their asses. Meanwhile, Big-Bad Klaus tries to find a way in. Look out! It’s the killer newspaper! Whoa. Was that part of the fence? Damn. He could pitch for the White Sox. No one, besides Klaus, could make that awesome temper-tantrum look sexy.

“I think you’re probably going to want to let me in.” I don’t know about you, but I would do what he says. Before Klaus sets the house on fire – literally – Stefan tells him the breaking news. Evil Alaric is going to kill Elena and Caroline if the hybrid doesn’t turn himself in. Unfortunately, the odds aren’t in their favor. If the Salvatore’s turn Klaus in, they have a 1 in 4 chance of dropping dead along with Tyler. Not good. The only solution is to work together – brainstorm ways to take down Alaric without getting anyone else hurt in the process. Easier said than done, of course. Enter, Boring Bonnie. I mean, Bonnie. What if she was able to use the desecration spell Abby used on Michael to take Alaric down? It could work, but they’re gonna need some help.

As is usual, Caroline can’t seem to catch a break. Why is she the one always being tortured with stakes and vervain? Isn’t it someone else’s turn? You have to hand it to Alaric, though. Using – let alone, finding – a non-mechanical wooden pencil in such a way? Genius. When Elena arrives on the scene, Evil Alaric graciously allows her to set Caroline free. Well, at the very least, try. What Evil Alaric really wants, is for Elena to kill Caroline. Say what, now? It’s all about mind games. E. Alaric toys with Elena, questioning her loyalty. Isn’t this what she wanted? Didn’t she want Alaric to teach her how to kill a vampire? Here’s your chance, Elena.

When Abby Bennett breezes into town, she brings Bonnie a warning. If she is going to pursue the desecration spell, it’s going to take darker magic to complete the task. Can she handle it? Duh. She’s Bonnie. She can handle anything! Yeah. Keep telling yourself that, sweetheart. Abby tells the young witch, that in order for the spell to work – to stop the heart of a vampire – she’s going to need a sacrifice. She’s going to need to stop a human heart beat to kill a vampire one. Jeremy, being Jeremy, decides to volunteer. To die. Again. Idiot, party of one?

Later, while doing some reconnaissance work, Klaus and Stefan have a heart-to-heart of sorts. Klaus promises that after the Evil Alaric situation is put to rest, he’s still leaving town with Elena. “I’ll go with you.” Sigh. That’s probably one of the most romantic things ever said on the show. Thanks, Stefan. All that work trying to keep Elena alive, Stefan is going to see it through, even it means joining Klaus and his Merry Gang of Hybrids. Again. The Original even knows that Stefan is a better option than his brotherly rival. He questions the validity of the Salvatore bond, but Stefan holds true. Nothing can get in the way of Damon and Stefan’s brotherly bond. Nothing! Well, except for Elena.

The Plan: First step, drink Bonnie’s blood. A little unorthodox, perhaps, but there’s a specific purpose. With the blood in their systems, they form a connection, one that will allow them to fuse with Evil Alaric – stopping his heart. Klaus. Stefan. Damon. Jeremy. Each steal a drop from the vial. Our friend, Klaus, decides this is the best time to share some insightful information. He is the one that created the Salvatore Vampire bloodline. Really? Who knows? It could be another classic Klaus scam, but they can’t take any chances. Let’s just get this over with.

“If you don’t side with the humans, you’re just as bad as them.” Whoa. Low blow, Evil Alaric. Truly believing he is showing Elena what is right and wrong, E. Alaric forces Elena to kill Caroline. The human looks to her former mentor. What should she do? What must she do? Elena raises the stake – to hit, to kill – taking aim of Caroline’s heart. In an instant, she refocuses her aim at Alaric. Tsk. Tsk. “I though I taught you better?” You did. Elena pours the glass of vervain over Alaric’s flesh, allowing the burn to seep through. Caroline escapes . . . into the arms of Klaus. Aw. The unnerved vamp looks to her savior, thanking him. Seeing something good and pure in him?

Elena isn’t so lucky. Evil Alaric slams her body into a bank of lockers, choking her into submission. He wants to kill her. He wants to see her suffer like the others, but he won’t. He can’t. Why? Ask questions later, Damon and Stefan are here. They take hold of the newborn, but it’s no use. E.A. fights them off, breaking backs, necks. Klaus pushes him back, grips onto his chest. The connection. Far off, in the middle of the dense forest, Bonnie phrases the spell in preparation for Evil Alaric’s end. Wait. It didn’t work. The connection was broken! Punches fly, bones are broken. E.A. has Klaus in a stronghold, the stake perched at his heart. Stop!

Elena makes a bold and stupid move, threatening to kill herself if Evil Alaric lays even a finger on Klaus. She knows there’s a reason why he kept her alive. If he really wanted her dead, he would have succeeded by now. He needs her. There was a reason Esther used Elena’s blood in the spell. She didn’t want Alaric to be immortal. So she tied his life to a human one. That way, he only has one lifetime to complete his mission. They are joined as one. If Elena dies, Alaric does too. Whaaaaaat?

You seem to have hit your head pretty hard, Elena. The human wakes up, tied to a chair, her blood being taken for future use. What happened? Klaus. He’s bringing crazy back, planning on draining Elena of her blood entirely. Ruh. Roh. He sees the situation quite clearly. What’s a few less hybrids? If Elena dies, Evil Alaric is no longer a problem. After saving her from the vampire-hating vampire, Klaus took it upon himself to decide what was best for the group. Tyler? Maybe you could put yourself to good use and help? Without his sire bond, Tyler is able to free Elena from her shackles. Klaus and his first-born face off. Another fight breaks out, pushing Elena back, forcing her to fall hard.

Instantaneously, Stefan and Damon are by Tyler’s side, holding Klaus down. Stefan places his hand against the hybrid’s heart, uniting, creating the connection again. What? No. Bonnie begins the spell, stopping Jeremy’s heart in the process. What the hell are you doing? It has begun. The desecration spell is working. It better not! Time slows. You can’t do this! Tears begin to fall. Stop. No. Klaus is slowly dying. Please. He looks to his captors. Pain. Disbelief. Eyes begging. Pleading. Klaus is gone. Dead. Are you happy now? I’m crying. I’m crying!

Reaction: Wow. I mean . . . how? How could you? How could you, TVD? I thought killing Alaric was bad. This is worse, much worse. You can’t kill Klaus. You can’t kill one of the best characters on the show. No. I refuse to believe it. I’ll start a damn petition today. You better bring him back! I’m serious or heads are gonna roll . . .

Yeah, so that happened. And Jeremy died then came back to life. Again. Seriously, they really like to tease us with that whole ‘Jeremy is dead’ thing. Blah, blah, blah. You don’t think that’s going to mess him up? Damon’s right. We’re going to have another Alaric on our hands.

Anyway, thanks Damon and Stefan for bringing Elena home – conscious, mind you. Such gentlemen. Wait. What, Elena? I have something to say. Elena admits her indecision makes her selfish. It may look like she’s stringing them along, but she doesn’t want to see them hurt. Either way, either choice, someone is going to be heartbroken by her actions. If she chooses one, she loses the other. She can’t lose anyone she loves anymore. The brothers leave, contemplating what they’ve just heard.

It’s the perfect time for a party. Huh? The Scooby Gang take it upon themselves to celebrate Klaus’ demise. They’re the only ones who see this as a good thing. What a better way to say, “Hey! We actually succeeded with a plan,” by underage drinking. Classic. Really. It’s nice to see them have fun for a change, but it’s just so wrong.

Attention! Emergency council meeting! Sheriff Forbes is dumbfounded to find the entire council eagerly awaiting a speech from Evil Alaric. He outs the Sheriff and Mayor Lockwood for what they really are: bad parents to supernatural creatures. The council audibly gasps in awe. Sheriff Forbes attempts to leave this meeting of the minds, but Evil Alaric is there to stop her. “We’re just getting started.”

A Bro Moment: Road trip! Damon and Stefan take some time out of their busy schedules to take Klaus (Klaaaaaauuusss! Klaaaaaauusss!) to his step-father’s former place of rest – his tomb. Inevitably, the conversation moves to Elena. It’s clear Stefan isn’t backing down. He’s going to fight for Elena, as is Damon. The make a pact. If Elena chooses one, the other will leave town and allow them to lead a happy life. Sounds reasonable to me. Is that okay with you?

“All this over one girl.” 

“She’s a pretty special girl.”

“Yes, she is.”

It’s too bad she just passed out unconscious . . .

The Vampire Diaries

Oh, my. Can you believe it? The season 3 finale is next week! Tell me, what are some of your favorite moments from the season?

Best lines of the night:

1. “That’s what happens when you decide to paint your dead guardian’s room in the middle of the night.” – Jeremy

2. “Because I do stupid things, Bonnie. I do things, like let my friend die with dignity, when I should have just killed him.” – Damon

3. “I’m leaving town. Just need to pick up a few road trip necessities: spare tire, flashlight, doppelgänger. Smirk.” – Klaus

4. “How many times do I have to tell you, Elena? Stop trusting vampires!” – Alaric

5. “Don’t get your hopes up. Might be a Girl Scout.” – Damon

6. “We had signed the deed over to Elena, but she died. It’s a very long story. “ – Damon

7. “What does that mean? Bonnie, I don’t speak Witch.” – Damon

8. “Why am I still alive?” – Damon

9. “Just between us girls, who would you have picked?” – Klaus

10. “I’m not your little bitch, anymore.” – Tyler

What did you think of the episode? What was your favorite scene? Favorite line? Is Klaus really gone for good? Was Evil Alaric just looking out for himself or does he sill care about Elena? What did you think of the Alaric/Elena twist? What happened to Elena? Will Stefan and Damon stay true to their pact? Do you think Rebecca will retaliate? Will Caroline finally understand her true feelings for Klaus? Tell me in the comments!

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