Only Supernatural could make me drool, laugh, cry, hurl, and fangirl uncontrollably, all in one episode. How do they do that? In a lab – somewhere in Vancouver – do they use formulas and lengthy notes to correctly combine the best jokes, lines, and tear drop moments, until they get it right? “Now add 2 heaping handfuls of Dean, 2 more of Sam (Shirt optional), 3 parts drama, 4 parts side-splitting lines, and 1 part Angel. There. I think we have it.” Yes, the inclusion of one trench-coat dressed, unintentionally witty Angel seems to be one of the ingredients needed in this recipe. It’s not like it didn’t work without him. It worked and it worked well. But ever since that day (Of season 4), when that ass-butt of an Angel walked (Flew? Magically appeared?) through our door, he became part of the family. We welcomed him with open arms and that’s where we want him to stay.
So it’s no secret, that when season 6 came around and no Angel appeared (In the first two episodes), something was missing. I don’t think we needed him to be in the entire first two episodes. Just a wink or a small scene would have been nice. Then on Friday (Some of us (*ahem*) had to wait until Saturday), came The Third Man. What happened, you ask? Well, that’s why I’m here. But, first there are a few warnings, cautions, advisory’s, etc .
1. Large gross-out levels (Blood, bugs, and boils)
2. Immense drool factor (Shirtless men!)
3. Spoiler Alert!
We begin – as most episodes of Supernatural do – with the case of the week. In the locker room of a police station, an officer is finishing up his morning routine. He looks at himself in the mirror, and notices a bit of blood on his cheek. He wipes it away and splashes some cool water on his face. Again, looking into the mirror, he see’s more blood on his cheek, but it’s the other side this time. The officer tries to wipe it away, but as he does – Dun, Dun, Dun – half of his skin comes off (That’s gross, but I can handle it)! A few bloody footsteps and a couple of fake blood packets later, we see his partner’s face widen in horror (What the?). The officer is hemorrhaging everywhere. And then as the camera looks in the (quite horrified) partner’s face, we hear a splat. A quite familiar splat. The splat of a police officer stew. Commence your yucks, ugh’s, and eeew’s. And cue title card!
Oh, hey shirtless, sleeping, hot Dean. Where have you been? We haven’t seen you in forever. You really need to get out more (Don’t you agree?). You know . . . never mind, you seem to be busy with Lisa (Say what?). And you’re making out now. This is uncomfortable. Can you stop that now (Cut to Dean sleeping in his car (Welcome back, Impala!) on the side of the road)? Good. Now, that’s over. We can get back to the good stuff, as in . . . Sam. Yep, Sam. I meant Sam (*smirk*). Sam. Exercising. Shirtless. Do you have towel or bucket I can use, to pick up my drool. I think this Dean girl is having a Becky moment. And now cue the trollop, lady of the evening, whatever you want to call her. Yes, it true Sam Winchester paid for sex, even though she almost forgot her money (We can only guess the amazing implications here). Wasn’t it Sammy himself that said he would never pay for it? It’s not like he needs to pay for it, either. Have you seen the man? Looks liked times have changed. Or maybe it’s just Sam. BTW, Supernatural writers. This is the stuff that fanfic writers and readers live for, so I would be careful if I were you (By adding more shirtless Sam and Dean scenes, please).
Dean calls Sam, after picking up a little sustenance at Burger Heaven (That better be a bacon cheeseburger). Sam needs Dean to meet him in Pennsylvania for the aforementioned case, which is now getting really disgusting and adding two more victims. Side note: Last week I said, that I didn’t think that Sam and Dean we’re going to start hunting together right away. Okay, so I was wrong about that. I’ll admit it. The time between Dean leaving and rejoining Sam is only a day and a half. So tally one in there for you. Victim number 2 is a another police officer – who is on traffic duty – and his day isn’t going so well. Drinking out of his mega gulp, he starts to scratch away at his skin (Uh. Oh). This time it isn’t blood, as much as it is yellow, puss filled, makes-you-want-to-hack boils that cover up his entire body, including his inerds (Yuck!). Victim 3 is also a police officer (I see a pattern here) who drops dead from – what can only be called – locusts eating their way out of his skull (Bugs. I hate bugs! And snakes!).
* I interrupt this recap to bring you the scores of the Sam and Dean car race of 2010: Sam is leading in the Charger. He seems to be winning. Oh, but Dean makes a sharp turn and cut’s Sam off! Dean wins! Dean wins! Long live the Impala! *
While questioning Victim 3, the boys get a name. A name that ties all three victims together: Christopher Burch. Doing some research, they find out that the three officers shot the kid and planted a gun on him (“Bunch of d***s”). Not knowing what to do, they decide to call the Ghostbusters. No, sorry. They decide to call Cas. Dean, in his own cute little snarky way, prays to Cas. Nothing (Answer the call, bro!). He tries again, but Sam knows it won’t work. He tried when he got out of the cage, but Cas wouldn’t answer (Why, Cas? Why?). Dean tries once more.
Sam: “Like I said, the son-of-a-bitch doesn’t answer.” (Isn’t that supposed to be Deans line?)
A slight breeze.
Sam: “He’s right behind me, isn’t he?”
Be free to sing “Cas is back” (Of course to the tune of Back in Black by AC-DC). Our little winged buddy is back! And the bromance between Dean and Cas is alive and well. Castiel tells them that he, nor the angel’s know who brought Sam back and why they did. No one has seen God either (He finished his book and disappeared, remember?). He tells them, that he’s there not because Dean called, but because he needs help with the case their working on (Well, that’s twisted). The cause of the murders? A weapon of heaven. The staff of Moses (But not operating at full power). Someone has been stealing heaven’s weapons (I see future plot lines!), and Cas needs to find out who. He asks for Sam and Deans help, but Sam is not so psyched about doing it. He agrees, of course. How can you say no to that adorable angel?
So who’s causing all the trouble? Remember I mentioned that the dead cops framed a kid? Well, his little brother wanted revenge and as the story always goes: he sold his soul to an angel (I know!) for The Staff of Moses (Kids. They’ll sell their soul to anyone). Cas taps (That’s horrible for the digestive system) them (Including the boy) back to Sam’s hotel room, where he plans to find the angel responsible for the deal. Cas plans to find the angel by shoving, rather graphically, his hand into the boys chest, where he will find a mark. This will cause the boy an extreme amount of pain, so Dean gives that plan a big thumbs down. Once again, it’s Sam who steps up and tells Cas to go through with it (What’s wrong with you Sam?). After a brief discussion, Dean allows Cas to do the deed.
The information he receives is disturbing to him. A friend (I thought the boys were his only friends), Balthazar is responsible for the soul taking. Before he can say anymore, a lackey of Raphael (Back in season 5, Cas thought he knew the location of God) comes a knocking. He threatens – more like takes out his angel sword – to kill Cas. In one of those kick-ass moments, Cas pushes the lackey and himself out of the window and onto Sam’s Charger (Ha ha ha . . . oops! Sorry). “Okay, silver lining.”
Turns out that Raphael and his followers want him to rule heaven and restart the Apocalypse. That is bad news for the angels and the world. If Raphael get’s his hands on the rest of heavens weapons, hello Lucifer (Please, Chuck. No)! Cas taps them to Balthazar’s, who I get confused with Jax’s brother from General Hospital, but that’s just me. Cas needs Balthazar to hand over the weapons, but he refuses. He tells him that since he (Cas) stopped the Apocalypse, he followed in his footsteps and got out. He gained his freedom. He believes that the war up in heaven will never stop, so it’s just better to go down the way you want to, possibly with a drink in hand. As Balthazar disappears, Raphael shows up (Figures). The two fight it out, Cas almost losing, until Balthazar comes to the rescue and turns Raphael’s meat suit into salt. To return the favor, Cas stops Dean from trapping Balthazar in the holy fire. I think we’re going to see him again, don’t you? The scene ends as Cas leaves abruptly, once again (No!), and Dean shouts out his new favorite line, ” Come on!” I really miss “Son-of-a-bitch!” It was the go-to Dean line. Will we ever hear it again?
As the episode wraps up, Sam is – most likely forced – to ride with Dean in the Impala again (Yay!). Sam complains that there is not enough room for his stuff. You can call that a sign of things to come, if you ask me. Dean really knows there is something wrong with Sam, and he tries to call him on it. Dean asks if Sam is okay, and how does he respond? “Of course, I am.” Dean tells him that he knows what he’s been through (The literally going to Hell thing), but Sam tells him, “Hell no.” Sam only knows what he’s been through, and he’s fine. Which leads to the question, who are you and what have you done to Sam Winchester? I’m telling you, there’s more to the story here (You know it, too). It still may be Sam, but is he working for demons, now? Working for whoever Grandpa was talking to? Is he in cahoots with Lucifer? Tell me Sera Gamble! Tell me! Oh, hey look. There’s previews for the next couple episodes. And it’s official. They just melted my mind.
Reminder: The next episode is the Jensen directed “Weekend At Bobby’s.“ Be prepared for an insane amount of fangirling!
Until then, how about some of the best lines of the night? You know you want them, so here they come.
1. Dean: (In reference to bossy Sam) “Who died and made you boss?”
I think that was Sam.
2. Sam: “Were you racing me?”
Dean: “No. I was kicking your ass (Smirk).”
Sam: “Very mature.”
Man, I loved that scene. Brings you back to season 2, doesn’t it?
3. Dean: (Praying to Cas) “Do you copy?”
Oh, Dean. We love you.
4. Cas: “Hello”
Sam: (In Cas’ voice) “Hello. Hello?”
Cas: “That is still the term?”
Welcome back, old buddy!
5. Cas: “I think we can rule Moses out, as a suspect.”
6. Cas: “Sam. Dean. My ‘people skills’ are ‘rusty.’ Pardon me, but I’ve spent the last ‘year’ as a multidimensional wave length of celestial intent.”
I love an angel who can’t use his air quotes correctly.
7. Dean: (At Balthazar’s) “Huh. I was expecting more Dr. No, less Liberace.”
Love ya, Dean.
8. Cas: “I need myrrh.”
What did you think about Friday’s episode? What do you think happened to Sam? Where did Cas go? Tell me in the comments!