What do you think you’re doing?

Finally! The Vampire Diaries is back and in full force. Man, I missed my vamptastic prime-time soap opera. You never realize how much you love something until it’s gone. Oh, Damon. It feels like an eternity since we last saw a new episode. I can’t even remember what happened the last time Damon and Stefan were on my television screen. Hmmm . . . I think a refresher is in order. Hold on. I need a minute to recall Katerina. Wow. Okay. Yeah. I remember now. So good. The Sacrifice might not have been as jaw-dropping as the previous episode, but it still held some big moments. Ex. Bonnie and Jeremy. Raise your hand if you were yelling at Jeremy to kiss her. For a moment, I thought it was going to happen. Then as she stopped him, my heart dropped. I might have thrown a pillow at my TV. Another highlight of the night: Damon threatening to throw Elena over his shoulder. It was a panty combusting moment, to be sure. But, I’m giving everything away. You’ll just have to read my juicy play-by-play and recap to get all the particulars. So for those of you who’ve seen last nights episode, onwards and downwards. The rest of you know the drill. SPOILER ALERT!

Elena wakes in her bed after hearing a strange noise. There is someone watching her. She hears the noise once more and starts to investigate. Looking around she sees . . .  Alaric. Shirtless. In boxers. With sex hair. Cue my frantic heart. This is what mama likes. “Well, I’m naked. So I’m gonna go” (No. Don’t go). Apparently, Aunt Jenna and Alaric have been playing between the sheets quite often recently. It’s amazing that Aunt Jenna is so embarrassed of her romps, but let’s Elena have vampire cuddle sessions and hardly says a word. Seriously? What twisted wonderful place is this? They don’t even lock their doors, seeing as Jonas (Man-witch, doctor, and spy for Elijah) had taken a few key items from Elena while she was busy dealing with her ice cream toting teacher and Aunt. I have a suggestion for this werewolf, witch, and vampire populated town. Lock your doors. It might not stop some supernatural creatures, but it will stop creepy stalker types from stealing locks of your hair. Understand me?

Now we return to our prime-time special: The Salvatore Brothers – Vampire Investigators. Damon and Stefan saw fit to pay our old friend Katherine a visit in her tomb. As much as she loves her safety from Klaus, she is really bored. Also, extremely hungry. She throws out a deal to the brothers. If they let her out, she’ll give them the moonstone and leave town forever. Yeah right. The brothers don’t believe her either. The make their own plan. With help from a friendly witch, their going to set the spell free from the moonstone. Only, they actually have to get the moonstone first. Enter our witch who will lift the tomb curse long enough for the brothers to get in and out (This can’t be good).

At school (Wow. People still go to high school in Mystic Falls?), Bonnie and her new man-witch friend Luca have a little witch exchange. She tells him about her difficulties with her abilities (Nose bleeds/blackouts), and he shows her a trick. Witches can channel each others powers (Using a personal item of the other witch). Wind blows. Leaves rustle. Blah, blah, blah. Their getting close and that does not sit will with Jeremy. On the basketball court, Matt apologizes to Tyler about their shoving match, which led to Tyler’s new werewolf mojo. Caroline warns Tyler about the impending full moon, but he just reassure’s her that he has things taken care of. Caroline agrees to help.

At Casa de Salvatore, Elena pays Rose – who is slightly under dressed – a visit (She’s playing house with Damon. Who wouldn’t be a little over-eager?). Elena asks for Rose’s help, to get more information from her friend Slater (Who staked himself last episode under Elijah’s compel trick). There is more to know and Elena thinks this is the only way. Rose is a bit hesitant to take her to Slater’s, so Elena strikes a bargain. Take her to Slater’s and Rose will forever be allowed to walk in the sunlight. Seems like a good deal, right? Well, we’ll just have to wait and see.

Later, the Salvatore brothers meet up with Bonnie and Jeremy to go over the game plan. Bonnie is certain that she can open the tomb for a couple of minutes while they collect the moonstone. Jeremy knows Bonnie is too weak for such a task, but everyone ignores him (Awww). With the help of some magic dust – able to incapacitate Katherine for a short time – made from an object of Katherine’s, the team have a plan. It might not be a very good plan, but it’s the only one they have.

Another bad plan is in effect, as Elena and Rose enter Slater’s former residence. He’s lying dead on the floor, they can’t break the computer password, and there are strange noises coming from the closet. Rose opens the door to find Alice (Alice? Alice Cullen? What is she doing . . . Oh, wait. Sorry), the human girlfriend of the dearly departed, Slater. Human, vampire relationships. They never work, do they? Alice exchanges her knowledge of Slater’s computer password (Kristen Stewart, btw. Can’t I ever get away from her? Jeez!), for a set of fangs. Going through Slater’s contacts, Elena brings out her true reason she’s there. She wants to get in contact with Kalus’ lackeys. She wants to sacrifice herself for her family. Totally a Bella Swan move. And we all know how that goes. Rose (Right now, I’m really hoping Rose isn’t short for Rosalie. That would just be too weird) is stunned by her betrayal. Elena asks Alice to call Klaus’ lackeys, so she can make a trade? I don’t know. All she knows is that she ain’t coming out alive. That was her plan all along.

Sheesh! All this Elena drama is draining. Let’s meet up with Caroline and Tyler, shall we? Tyler shows Caroline the place where Mason chained himself up during a full moon. Looking around, they find Mason’s diary. He chronicled every transformation. I’d say, that might come in handy. They also find a memory card. I would stop there if I were you. Oh, you’re watching it Tyler. Don’t. Okay. Whatever. The memory card is a video of Mason’s first transformation. Caroline reads Mason’s description of the horrific night, while Tyler watches and fast forwards through the several painful hours of transformation. Tyler totally freaks out. You can’t blame him. Caroline tries to calm him down, but all Tyler can think about is why Caroline is being so nice to him. They haven’t spoken much or never been that close, so why now? Caroline tells him that she knows what he’s going through. She was alone when she was transformed. She killed somebody. She doesn’t want that to happen to him (Awww). I see a future love connection brewing. Actually, I see a future love triangle. Matt stops by and confesses how much he really misses Caroline. But before the making up can begin, Tyler shows up. I don’t know if he did it intentionally or not, but that wasn’t right. Nope. Not at all.

Now to the big enchilada. Jeremy takes a trip to the tomb. He wants to moonstone. Katherine refuses. “If you want it. You’re gonna have to come here and get it.” Game on. Jeremy shoots a stake into Katherine, then blows some of Bonnie’s magic dust to incapacitate her. She goes down. Jeremy searches for the stone, but can’t find it (This. Is. Not. Good). He goes further into the tomb (What do you think you’re doing?). Finally, he finds it. He makes his way back, but Katherine is waiting for him. She takes a bite out of our poor Jeremy (Get your tissues, everybody!).

This was not part of the plan. Jeremy took it upon himself to take the plan on by himself so Bonnie wouldn’t get hurt (Awww). Bonnie, Stefan, and Damon make their way to the tomb. Only, Damon gets a disturbing call from Rose (Uh. Oh. Elena’s in trouble). He leaves. Then as Bonnie and Stefan begin to start without him, they see something is wrong. Katherine has blood on her lips (Not. Good). She brings in Jeremy, who doesn’t look his best. A deal is in place. She’ll give them Jeremy, when Bonnie opens the tomb. Cue my head shake.

In the meantime, Jonas is using the stuff he picked up to track Elena. Elijah knows exactly where she is and so does Damon. He gives Elena quite a shock. And that is the point where the panty explosion begins. Using is ultra-sexy demanding voice, his threatens Elena to go home. She won’t. She’s there for a reason. More threatening. Arm grabbing. Damon threatening to throw Elena over his shoulder (Swoon). Panties combusting. I’m surprised Damon’s twitchy palms (Darn me and my fan-fiction inside jokes) didn’t make an appearance. He’s about to get her out of there when a couple of random vampires appear to take Elena away. Only, not so fast. Elijah is there to do the job himself. The two random vampires tell Elijah that they were gathering Elena for Klaus. Elijah doesn’t seem to want that to happen so he kills vampire extra #1 & 2. Rose flees in fear, as Damon holds his ground. Elijah leaves. What? Why? Huh?

At the tomb, Bonnie is trying her hardest to break the spell. She resorts to channeling Luca (Like before) for some help. But it isn’t enough. She can’t do it. All the while, Luca is suffering for her actions. Katherine isn’t pleased with the outcome. She bites into Jeremy once more (No!). Before anything else can happen, Stefan runs into the tomb and pushes Jeremy out (Oh. Crap!). I did not see that coming. I didn’t want to see that coming. I especially didn’t want to see the coming attractions that showed what was coming in the next episode. I suggest you shield you eyes Stefan/Elena fans. The only way that Stefan is going to get out of that tomb is with the help of two witches. And that might take a while. I am not liking this one bit.

Other thing I don’t like? Elijah. Elijah is trying to keep Elena safe (What? I don’t understand). Jeremy and Bonnie. He wants to be more than friends. Bonnie doesn’t think it’s possible. Jeremy knows that his feelings aren’t one-sided and I think Bonnie knows it too. He moves in closer (Kiss her! Kiss her!). Their lips almost touch (Kiss her!). “I can’t. I’m sorry.” What!! No!! No. No. No. This. Is. Not. Acceptable. The two people I want to get together, won’t. That is not fair. Anyone else with me on this?

Damon and Elena come home to another surprise. Elena fights to get in the tomb to get to Stefan, but Damon is there to forcefully stop her. He knows it’s not a good idea for her to go in there. Katherine is in there. Elena fights against Damon, but it doesn’t do any good. She leaves. All the while, Stefan is listening to their conversation. Stefan makes Damon promise to keep Elena away from the tomb. “Like that ‘ill be easy.” Damon vows to keep Elena safe, but the gleam in his eye makes me believe he’s going to do more than that. Huh? You thinking what I’m thinking Delena fans?

The Vampire Diaries

What did you think of that awesome episode? What did you think of that preview for next week? Will Jeremy and Bonnie ever get together? What happened to Rose? What does Elijah have up his sleeve? Will we ever see shirtless Alaric again? Tell me in the comments!

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